Why The Order Detest Gluten

Whilst it's true that awareness of the negative health effects of gluten has increased in the past few years; The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo have always been aware of how detrimental this addictive, vile substance really is. Actually, the name gluten is derived from these glue-like properties. Gluten is a protein composite found in several types of grains, including wheat, spelt, rye and barley and it responsible for a long list of health complaints. Celiac disease and IBS being the two most discussed ones. But The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo hate gluten mainly because of its terrible effect of the all ready extremely shaky mental state of the world.

Yes indeed, the gluten found in those delicious breads and pastries and donuts and Subways and pasta and cakes and biscuits and cookies, does in fact cause anxiety and depression; along with schizophrenia and bi-polar disease. The Order have been producing amazing tasting gluten free alternatives for decades in an attempt to remedy this epidemic, but humans are hell bent on choosing Oreos and lasagne over their health and well being.

How The Order Use Dogs To Spy on Humans

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo have a deep affinity with animals of all kinds, but dogs (and wolves) in particular have a special place in the hearts in these amazing people. This is mainly because they are nine times out of ten smarter and better looking than most humans. The Order are a very busy group of highly evolved individuals  who's time is more precious than gold. However, they also care deeply for all humans of the world and in order to keep society running as smoothly as possible,  it is essential that every action of the human race is closely monitored by The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo. At first, The Order employed the help of the humble house fly for all their spying needs; but were shocked and saddened by how many humans ended the flies mission and life early with one firm swat of a rolled up newspaper (or several flailing swats in most cases).

So The Order needed to employ a creature that no man or woman, no matter how frustrated or angry they may be, could never harm. Their only two options were cats or dogs, and obviously cats were out of the question due to their indignant and selfish nature. And so, The Order took advantage of humans misconceptions about their so called dumb and naive canine friends, and hired them as their full time secret agents.

Why The Order Allow Lawyers to Exist

The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo all ready have a perfect and unique justice system set up within their organisation; full of wisdom and knowledge. However they know that the human race is not yet fully ready for this deeply complex yet stunningly simple system. Instead, The Order allowed a certain group of individuals; usually with a scholarly brain, a hunger for worldly success,and of course a taste for large, black and expensive cars, to spend a very long time studying a list of what they call "laws". Eventually these students of law become "lawyers". In general, lawyers are not particularly favoured by The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo or even by their fellow graduates of law. However, they are all part of the over all plan of that The Order have for humanity. It is also a way that The Order - in their own words- can "keep liars off the street"

That being said, there was one lawyer that The Order not only approved of but held in great esteem. (No, not Jerry Maguire). Gandhi. All though it's somewhat un known that Gandhi was a lawyer, because he was such an honest, good man.

How The Order Stopped Zeus

The Father of Gods and men has been pushing others around, while at the same time ruling the Olympians of Mount Olympus.  Zeus is the child of Cronus and Rhea and ever since he was born he has been a large pain in the rear for his parents.  The traditional Greek mythology is that he married Hera and she has been putting up with him ever since.  Pretty much from the first time that Zeus was considered “off the earth”, many have been wondering where he went and who actually got him to go anywhere.  Knowing he was such a bullying and could not be told what to do, the experts are stumped to find the answer.

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo may have been responsible for forcing Zeus from the earth.  One common saying is that “Zeus is king in haven” and that just might be where the God of sky, lightning, thunder, law, order and justice ended up.  Nobody with The Order is accepting responsibility for getting the Greek God off the earth, but that does not mean it is not true.  Although it would have been quite the task, it speaks a lot about how The Order works, especially when they are working together!

How the Order Created Electricity

Discovering electricity might have been one of the coolest things ever done by a human.  Ben Franklin and his little kite made history that is still told in many ways throughout the world today.  The story has plenty of detail, which may or may not be proven today, but for the most part, everyone tells it the same way.  Just when you think the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo was busy enough with other things, you find out that they are the ones that created electricity as we know it today.

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo goes back in history and has many members, some that might have been around when Franklin got the guts to see what the lightning bolt was all about one stormy night.  Electricity has become one of the largest parts of our daily lives and if anyone had asked you where it comes from and you do not think you have the answer, you should take a look at The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo for your answer!

What the Order did with Jimmy Hoffa

Can you believe that authorities, family members, curious peoples and even scientific tools have not been able to find the body of Jimmy Hoffa?  All this time, all of the money spent on rumors and speculation and even death bed confessions and a body has yet to be found.  That is where the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo comes into play.  The Order was not about to let just any old person stumble across the body of Jimmy Hoffa, no, they took the body and have it preserved in such a way that only the members of The Order know about it.

The Order has the body, there is little doubt about that, but those that are curious would like to know where and how.  Just the attention that is put on finding the body of Jimmy Hoffa makes the stories out there so much more interesting.  The sad thing is that even though The Order has the body, the media refuses to report it that way.  Since there has been little evidence reported that does not turn into a false report, The Order has it made in the shade just sitting back and watching the stories unfold around them.

Why The Order Helped The Cavemen

From the very first time they set eyes on those rugged, grunting beasts The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo felt a deep love and respect for the cavemen. It was something about the way the men used the elements of the world around them as tools and weapons, or how they painstakingly hunted to provide for their loved ones, wasting nothing in the process.

The Order instantly knew deep within that these men and women would indeed be the smartest and most thoughtful people to walk the Earth. And while this fact filled The Order with sadness, it also inspired and moved them to help any and all of these humble and gifted residents of caves.  The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo watched over the cavemen, alerting them to any danger, whether it be in the form of hungry wild animals or flying "dinosaurs" or cheating lovers.

One man in particular caught The Orders attention, a loud and exuberant devoted family man with a love for music. This man was called Fred W. Flintstone. The Elders of The Sovereign Order were so impressed and endeared that they later invited Fred and his family to join The Order.

What The Order Did To The Bermuda Triangle

The Bermuda Triangle (also known as the Devil's Triangle) is an area bounded by points in Bermuda, Florida and Puerto Rico. It is also a place where ships and planes are said to mysteriously vanish into thin air — or deep water. Over the years, many theories have surfaced in a feeble attempt to explain the mystery. Some writers have suggested that the mythical city may lie at the bottom of the sea and be using its reputed "crystal energies" to sink ships and planes. Other more fanciful suggestions include time portals (why a rift in the space-time fabric of the universe would open up in this particular patch of well-traveled ocean is never explained) and extraterrestrials — including rumors of underwater alien bases.

Far from being some cruel vortex of doom, the Bermuda Triangle is in fact the stretch of water that The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo chose to make the power of invisibility available to those to who want and of course, earn it. The Order allowed and in some case even encouraged the crazy talk of conspiracy theorists. The Power of invisibility is one of the Orders many specialties. It's also one of their best kept secrets.

They knew that if word of this magical power that excludes from the Bermuda triangle got out it would spread like wild fire through retweets and Tumblr gifs and of course YouTube videos. As with all of The Orders rewards and powers, they are exclusive to the elite and deserving. Not the common, social media addicts of society.

Why The Order Invented Go Kart Racing

The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo are not only a highly intelligent and eclectic group, but they also are firm believers in choosing fun recreational activities over recreational drugs as a way to de stress and cope with the stresses of daily life. 

Because of this core value that they stand by, The Order were (and still are) constantly holding meetings (usually quarterly)  to brainstorm new, creative ways to introduce and integrate good clean fun into to the morally corrupt people outside of The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo. It is their mission to educate and entertain those poor creatures that wander through the world lost and bored.

One such meeting took place in beautiful and peaceful villa in rural Italy in 1902. The leader of this particular brainstorming session was a Native mechanic, named Mario. This charismatic and handsome mustached man had the audience spell bound as he presented to them his ground breaking new ideas. Whilst power point had not yet been invented, Italian Mario, being of Italian blood, used wild and vivid hand gestures to explain the concept of Go Kart racing. Among the other Order members that day was Mario’s brother (or perhaps cousin…their exact relationship was always somewhat of a mystery those around them) Luigi, who is said to have shed a tear when the idea was accepted. To this day, both men are highly respected innovators and style icons of The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo.