Tuesday 31 December 2013

Why The Order Created Superman

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo was sponsored in part by…themselves because they are their own heroes but to us they are just a bunch of people to whom we question their authority and reasons for doing things.

With all of the work they are doing and all of the events they illustrate; they pretty much have the world right in their grasp. They are (technically) our heroes because somehow they have managed to keep us alive and have not killed us…yet (let’s not speak too soon). And just when you thought they hated mankind by spreading rumors and dates of when they were going to end the world…what do they do? They create us the ultimate superhero.

Guess who it is. No, not batman! No, not Spiderman! Okay, now try to guess what it is. No, not a bird! No, not a plane! Give up yet? Superman!!!! Many will argue that Spiderman or Batman is better than Superman. I, for one, am not much of a fan of any guy-hero that wears uncomfortable tights…in public. I’d rather have underdog as my Hollywood hero of choice but since it wasn’t up to me the Order chose for us.

They created Superman in 1932 and let Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster take all of the credit because they wanted us to pay homage to two unsuspecting guys. The Order knew that someday we would figure them out and they hoped that it would not be them so they created us a hero a very long time ago so that they wouldn’t be bombarded by our ridiculous request for force-field, flying, and invisible powers. Nowadays, the Order wants to be thought of as our heroes why do you think the curse of Superman reigns in Hollywood? They’re putting this character to shame not to mention death.

Thursday 26 December 2013

How The Order Rig Elections

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is an elite group that takes pride on always winning and giving us fellow Americans and non-Americans false hope. Don’t worry they don’t mean to silence you and take away your rights of being heard. It’s just that if you don’t go out and vote then who’s going do it for you?

After all, some of you don’t really care about voting anyways; they see you mention the fact that “voting is rigged” all the time on Google so this particular piece of information shouldn’t come as a surprise.  Well, this is the U.S. and it is a democracy after all, so they’d like to keep it that way than to hear all of your nagging that “I never asked for this president, mayor, or governor!

How come I never get a say?” You do still get your say (of false hope that is) and those of you who are lucky enough to pick the right person for president are happy campers. Rigging an election is easy if you are part of the Monte Cristo Order. You see, these people have a meeting every year at a place called Bohemian Grove to discuss what will go on in the world next.

Every 4 years they talk about what president will be elected and in 2008 they just randomly decided that they should hire a black president whose only job is to chill in the White House like every other president since the U.S events and agenda have been figured out for that year.

Did you know that helping hands are hired every election season not only to bring you false hope but to shred your voting ballots after you walk away ecstatic and drive home feeling proud of yourself for voting and sharing your voice. They’re in on the gig too. Next election season check the back of the airport or wherever you vote at and pay attention to the Waste Management Trucks that are parked in the back or garage area of the facility.

Tuesday 24 December 2013

Why The Order Created The Fridge

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are all powerful and work to create great and mighty inventions around the clock. But let’s go back in time to where times were so much simpler, back in the olden days. We’re talking about times where fridges weren’t even around better yet, invented. Refrigerators were invented in 1834 and fridges came about in 1850 by a “Freezer Jolly Good Fellow” named John Gorrie.

If he was here with us now he’d say, “Back in my day we had to bury our food in window or storage boxes and we even had the option of ice houses but this generation has it all now.” Do you actually believe that John Gorrie actually invented this product on his own? Yeah? Well, maybe that’s what they want you to think.  John Gorrie did not invent the fridge by himself.

He had to have the intelligent and creative help of the Order. The Order did most of the work in developing this life changing invention. It did take a while, though. The reason why was because before the refrigerator or the fridge was invented, the members of the Order were nocturnal creatures that only came out at night.

The sunlight just fried their brains and since the smarter ones did some of their best thinking at night they would all take their lamps and put them together and gather all of their tools and work endlessly through the night just for a piece of equipment that would keep their food and beverages cold during the daytime so they could thoroughly hydrate themselves, and keep them cool. The members of the Order today are ancestors that are making a profit and inheriting their family’s money every time you buy a new refrigerator with a built in fridge. That’s something to think about.

Thursday 19 December 2013

Why The Order Created Football

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are still in charge of the world but would like to be entertained just like us. They get bored too but I’m pretty sure they are not sports fanatics. But around 1876 they came up with a marvelous idea they were going to let Walter Camp invent a new sport called football.

He got the idea from William Ebb Ellis who got the idea from the Monte Cristo members of the Order, the people who create everything. The Order really doesn’t care too much about sports it’s just that everyone got so tired and fed up of Rugby so the people of that time stopped attending Rugby games and started becoming so bored that the people who were around that time started finding other things to do in their spare time and that included the tracking down of conspiracies. Some of the most intelligent townspeople in 1876 figured out part of the conspiracy of Alexander Graham Bell and his telephone patent that was filed on February 14th, 1876.

The problem with his patent was that he did not describe the telephone in his application and he titled it “Improvements in Telegraphy” without ever mentioning the word telephone. Before the town’s smart Alec could figure out that Elisha Gray filed the same day as Bell and had mentioned the fact that he was the first to invent the telephone, one of the faithful members of the Order decided that he should popularize football so he went back and told the other members.

They all came to a decision that they should get society to watch the football games to get the townspeople’s mind off of the Order’s little conspiracy trick. The Order is very good at making observations but they did not know that football was a sport that stuck throughout the years and into today. Now they’d like for you to watch college football and look away from the news.

Tuesday 17 December 2013

How The Order Deals With EMF

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo a group with above average super human skills live there day-to-day lives among the human population. They blend and befriend all in the sake of learning about these not so mysterious creatures. Humans are probably by far the slowest in development on all levels. It really surprised the Order how far humans were behind other places they have inhabited.

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo watched as humans continued to slowly grow but they never did anything to manage emf (electromagnetic field) pollutions also known as dirty pollution.  They were just sending it out into the air slowly destroying Earth and themselves. . The Order was getting worried about what it would do the planet. They liked living on Earth.  They had to think of something. But what? They need the humans to want to change. How could they achieve that?

So they decided to go back to the prankster days.  If you remember The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo used ketchup as a mind control agent. Now they would use it too really scare the crap out of humans. You could think of it as scared straight EMF edition.  They began the experiment running it every night for a week. To make sure everyone saw.

They implanted visions showing a desolate world and the few human and animal survivors riddled with cancer and sickness. It was an eye-opening site. It took only matter of a few days for people to take political stances on it. And it took no time for people to start emf proofing themselves and the people around them.

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo knew this was a good thing and it will make the world a better place. It will also give humans a chance to live a little longer.

Thursday 12 December 2013

The Order And The Four Horseman

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo could potentially be the more than mere mortals. So what are they doing here on Earth? They are ions away from us human in brain capacity and storage. Their technology makes ours look like child's play. Sometimes the Order would miss having super cool gadgets. And they would be come quite impatient waiting on humans to create them.

One day while in a meeting one individual had an idea that made the entire Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo stop and take pause. They can easily do all the work for humans but it would throw the universal time line off completely. Since they couldn't build it for them they could build enough and let them take over.

They pondered the idea for a few moments when someone said and how are we supposed to do that without them finding out about us or becoming suspicious. You see the Order had already placed members in some of the biggest technological centers on Earth. They had moles in all the major think tanks. Now we just had to introduce things slowly.

Someone them made mention of humans their love of consuming alcohol. It was from there an idea was born. Returning back to their lair hitting ever liquor store they came back with so much liquor to test concoctions. They needed some think to put them out to the point of short-term memory loss.

After a few dud the tester who was one of their own, everyone in the Order had high tolerance to alcohol up until this one made with 1 part Jim Bean, 1 part Jack Daniel's, 1 part Johnnie Walker Black, and 1 part Jameson. They put it all in a shot glass mixed and handed to the tester. It took one shot and 3 minutes and the tester was down. They called it The Four Horsemen. It seemed fitting.

It was guaranteed to knock  you on your butt. When those that worked in the think that went in knowing full well if you offer human free booze they would take it. It was because this little tactic we got VHS, CD players, DVD, players, DVD, Cell phones and more. Humans are more technologically advanced now but not so much so it causes a problem in the time line.

Tuesday 10 December 2013

How The Order Protects Nessie

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is an unusual group of individuals who have been on Earth probably longer than humans. They know far more about everything on the Earth human or not. The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo tries to get along with everyone and everything if they can help it. During an early exploratory expedition in the Scotland Highlands they came across a big lake, they decided to stop and take a break. They admired the beautiful lake and the beauty surrounding it.

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo looked around taking it all in. They loved nature and everything it had to offer. But there peaceful moment was interrupted by a big splash in the center of the lake and this huge creäture jumped out. The Order stood and looked at her. They spoke to each other telepathically. She tells them her name was Nessie. She was the last of her kind. She was lonely. They chatted for a bit. Then The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo said their farewells and they left.

Little did the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo know they had a shadow. When they returned home a guess returned home there was Nessie. Nessie had followed them all this way. They told her she couldn't stay. But as soon as they said it her face crumpled and she started to shed big tears. There aren't too many things that can move the Order. However, watching this big creäture cry in front of them made them cave in. They built Nessie a private lake on their property. And they kept her. Every year they return the Scotland Highland with Nessie on vacation. Any sighting a human has ever seen was on an annual vacation the Order takes with Nessie. There is a reason the sightings are rare.

Thursday 5 December 2013

Why The Order Enjoys Bigfoot

The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo a group unique being roams the Earth among us lowly humans. We have no idea why. We're relatively sure their technology and brain capacity it 10x what ours is but they watch and study us anyway. They more than likely study us out of curiosity of our élite stupidity.

We would be right to assume that stupidity is the culprit. The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo does not know if they should pity us or laugh at us. Recently the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo has noticed a new sport taking over Bigfoot racing. And the Order came up with the best idea of a joke. You see awhile back while exploring a wooded area. They stumbled across a Sasquatch also known as Bight Foot.

They were able to telepathically communicate with one of the Big Foots. There were a lot of them at one point. It appears the Bigfoots very lonely creatures. And they loved making fun of humans as well. They traded funny stories for a while. They like The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo were really into playing practical jokes on the  humans. So when the sport of Big Foot racing came about it presented a perfect opportunity.

At 7pm one night the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo showed up and entered in their Big Foot well they were the last too be called and instead of a big monster truck, a big furry Wookie looking thing walked out. They thought it would be funny but it caused a big stampede. People were running and screaming all over the place. They were all trying to exit the building. Before they knew it the arena was empty. The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo and a few of the Sasquatches stood there looking at each other. Then they cracked up laughing.

Tuesday 3 December 2013

Why The Order Would Never Accept Will smith



The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is highly intelligent beings hanging out here on Earth watching us. No one knows how long he or she has really been here. They could have been here since the dawn of time. We will never know the Order will not allow it.  They control almost 95% of the world’s species. Oh that 5 % are the animals. They seem to love animals.

Once in awhile they will pick up a human as to what the purpose is of that we don’t know. The only ones who know are the chosen humans and the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo.  We have no idea what they base their decisions. Most the people they turn away are understandable.  But once in a while someone would get turned away and you’re just like WHAT?

Case in point will Smith was turned away last year.  Why was Will Smith not allowed to join the most elite group in existence The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo? When you hear you won’t believe it. The Order has been following Will Smith since his televisions show the Fresh Prince of Belair.

Will Smith was denied access too the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo for one reason it was his daughter Willow. You see since had that hit song about whipping her hair back and forth, it’s all she does.  She has those braids and them things hurt when they smack you in the face. Well they thought letting Willow make that video would get the hair whipping out her system. Well, it didn’t work.

And when you the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo your house has to be in order.  And that Willow was out of control. They had to have people around that were trustworthy and did not draw attention and Willow drew attention Will who in turn would draw attention to them. That is the reason Will Smith was denied entry.