Monday 19 August 2013

Why the Order Would Never Accept Bruce Willis




The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are individuals who live among us. It is not known if they are super human or supernatural. We have no idea whom they are or where they came from. Nor do we know what they want. They are highly intelligent and a charismatic group of individuals, so it is natural  they choose a human of high caliber to be amongst their ranks. It was only recently humans have been allowed to even be aware of their existence.  They have rejected Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise. They did take Kate Beckinsale into their ranks. They had one last outstanding possibility Bruce Willis, Mr. Willis was debated upon for hours.

You see the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo was torn with Mr. Willis. The elite group was trying to diversify. They knew he was divorced that is a big no no with the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo. It’s even bigger no no when you allow your mate to leave you for a younger one. However, Bruce Willis pulled it off.  It was also known that if he did one more of those Die Hard movies he would be out. He did it anyway.  But they let that slide.

It was one thing the Sovereign Order could not get past. Every time they look back on Bruce and life the one and only thing that made them cringe was the movie Hudson Hawk. They were even able to forgive him for Looks Who’s Talking. But Hudson Hawk took the cake. It was like watching a train wreck.  Their decision became final because it was found that none other than Bruce Willis himself did most of the rewrite for that movie. Watching Hudson Hawk was like nails on a chalkboard.

Now to add insult to injury Bruce turned down so many roles it just made the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo sick. Some films that the Order loved that Bruce turned down:  Fatal Attraction, Training Day, Ocean’s 11 and he even turned down Ghost which he would have costarred with his wife. 

Bruce obviously makes poor choices, which means he cannot  be a member and human ambassador for the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo. The Order did warn him. Should he make one more Die Hard film, he may live out the ending of Armageddon for real

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